I created this painting after reading a book called, ‘Letting Go’ by David Hawkins. The book was about learning how to let go of all negative emotions that plague our mind. By releasing the negative emotions, they could be replaced by positive emotions (LOVE). I really liked the idea of this since my mind tends to be a very busy place and honestly, many of those thoughts are negative. When I began to practice the techniques of this book, I immediately felt lighter as the negative thoughts left me. The more I became aware of these thoughts and let them go, more and more seemed to arise to the surface. I was surprise at the amount of fear driven thoughts I had, carrying around with me. As I felt them leave me, I felt more and more filled with light and joy, and simply happy. It felt like the negative thoughts had no where left to hide and ran and hid away from the light. It reminded me of lifting up big rocks as a child, and watching all the creatures living under there, run and scurry to escape back into the darkness. I saw this image clearly of a while light, presence lifting up my mind, uncovering what dark creatures lay there and witnessing them leaving me. The painting arose in my mind perfectly clear, and I was then inspired to to paint it.
‘Summer Sanity’ came about back in 2004, when I was making a huge transition in becoming a single mother of 2 children, and going out on my own, living in Longmont, CO. The experience was incredibly freeing, although uncertain and terrifying at some moments. Overall I was very thankful to embark on this new journey with my children. The vision itself for the painting, just came to me, while at the swimming pool in June. I was feeling quite happy while being out there in the sun,watching my kids play, when the image began to emerge into my mind. I was able to fly all around the image in my head and see so many vivid things in there, that just seemed rightfully in place. I didn't question the vision, or why must there be a creature with rooster claws, traveling with fruit falling from the wagon, nor did I question the broken vase with red liquid pouring from it. It was all really clear; that I just, Must paint it. Understanding it, would come later ; if ever! It’s not my task to understand that which I paint...So I went on to create this painting, completing it finally in 2009. During those years, between 2004 and 2010, life became rather complicated but the the vision remained the same. There was a lot of breaking of wine glasses, spilling the wine, and much heartache as well. I felt very unsettled trying to make ends meet, with my job as a needlepoint canvas painter and an in home care-giving job. Life took an incredible turn when my kids and I moved to South Florida in 2011. I moved for love lead me the way. It was a beautiful blessing. This painting remained in my possession and was even part of my solo exhibition in Gallery 2014, Hollywood, FL in 2013. It wasn't until recently, while walking past the painting, that I began seeing new life emerge in it. The colors and the concepts were just jumping out at me. This doesn't usually happen with me with older paintings. This was a first. I saw it all coming together and finally making sense to me. I had to clean it up and clean up the red liquid. I had to create light blasting through the gate and the light above the gate! It erased although not fully,creating a ghost of the traveling devil like creature. It just felt right to make these changes. I also transformed the painting from acrylic to oils. What I get from this change, is that all time and phases pass on. It’s always and forever changing. It was perhaps a phase of my life, that is behind me, but still remains a part of me and is still changing. My life today is getting cleaned up and is a daily process. Although that complicated part of my life is over, and I am now more at peace and settled, am I really? The painting speaks for itself and appears so much more intense to me; still busy but shining so much more brightly! Life is a beautiful, unfolding process, like that of the most exquisite flower. What I value more out of my gift of painting, is not what I get out of it, but what others see in this. I may never fully know why I paint some of my paintings, but it’s not necessary. If this means something to someone, then I have fulfilled my purpose.